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something blue

by Laptop Funeral

/
1.
apple seed get rid of me keep me if you want something from me still don't know how to talk went to therapy still feel horribly will things get better? will things get better? will things get better? when will they get better?
2.
Emily Loop 03:28
oh i know i’ll miss it there’s nothing to do here but when i’m with you it’s always a good time it's always a good time
3.
i let my plant die drive by somewhere nice my uncle died last night my mom won’t stop crying i missed her call i miss her calls this tea taste like an afternoon i want the sun to hit my face i don’t know if god is real but if he’s listening i’m losing it i’m losing it i’m losing it i’m losing it
4.
windows closed i’m alone bright white stripes fill the wall oh no i’m here again oh no i'm here again my eyes sore cried all night i’ve fallen down for the last time oh no i’m here again oh no i'm here again
5.
Whiplash 04:00
tv static speak to me “i don’t know what i’m supposed to be” fill my eyes with empty feed leave it on as i sleep for its all ive ever known jumbled lines of code searching for purpose over and over and over i’ve had enough as i wake up from my heavy slumber i throw the tv at the ground from the tv theres a black goo that fills my room as i am swallowed whole i feel something so profound something i can’t explain but it’s too late i am drowning as i slowly fade into nothingness i desperately hold on to anything that has helped me so far i have drowned before this isn’t the first this isn’t the last i see a light a light so small i can barley make it out losing breath, i begin to swim
6.
i think that i lost it “i thought that you knew” you think that it’ll help me if i talked to you ? “if you need me” “i’ll be here” can you hold my hand i think i’ll cry every time my head hurt it was you i lay my head down onto something blue for the first time in a long time i think i’ll be fine when the only source of light is what leaks through these blinds it gets harder to get out of bed with my eyes closed i lose my head long phone calls at 1am remind me why i’m still here i need something to keep me calm i need something, something blue every time my head hurt it was you i lay my head down onto something blue something blue something blue something blue something blue
7.
i parked my car and walked outside i wish you were here but your just in my mind i feel the breeze brush against my skin remembering how good it felt letting you win those nights spent on the porch the way the words felt in my throat
8.
Im Alright 02:23
blurry streets ghost will scream hide in sheets hide things you see don't wanna hear bout some guy you've probably screwed shut your mouth hope your happy hope he treats you well ghost will scream they hide in screens fill eyes with dreams got plastic teeth I'll hide in sheets makes it hard to sleep forced to think it's nothin new plane will close my ears won't put phone on airplane mode music will keep me sane
9.
if i wake up tonight i think i just might send you a text and if you don’t answer i don’t know if i’ll be able to sleep i feel so dumb for giving up but it gets so hard it feels like i’ve got a rock in my throat everytime i talk today, thought tomorrow wasn’t coming why even bother things still feel the same still even after, these radial disasters this repetition is driving me insane
10.
Figure 8 03:18
i’m staring at the ceiling i can’t stop thinking its probably nothing i’ll figure it out hey do you wanna go to the park before we head out i don’t know i wanna sleep i don’t know it’s probably nothing figure 8 these buildings look familiar i wish i was in boston danny bought a new camera i wish i had a camera so i could take pictures of how you look today and how everything feels okay when i’m near you figure 8 i’ll figure it out
11.
change is coming keep fighting it will all align it’ll be fine

about

Something blue is a passion project of mine that I've been working on for around six years. It's a story that sums up my experience with trauma and learning to overcome it while cautiously looking forward to change.

In 2018, as I was getting ready to go to college, I was on a small tour for my previous album "Pretty Punk." I've always had big aspirations for my music, and at that time, they felt possible for the first time. However, a month into my first year of college, I was involved in a traumatic car accident that left me with PTSD and without a car. Suddenly, it felt like my dreams shattered in front of me. My PTSD had a strong impact on me. It became difficult for me to do anything. Even the simple act of trying to get out of my room would trigger memories of the accident. It took me three years to find the courage within myself to seek help and go to therapy. For those painful moments of my life, I think the only thing that kept me going was my music, and during the process of getting better, I wrote this album.

credits

released May 26, 2023

album art by: ray valerio

recorded and produced by ray valerio

mixed by: max gowand & ray valerio

mastered by max gowand

light blue room:
additional ambience by analogue dear

breaking point:
live drums by daniel, additional back up vocals by ghostbuster vhs

something blue:
additional guitars by anthony turi

love notes:
vocals by metagirl

special thanks:
patrick, warren, button, turi, daniel, cablob, domenicca, knife girl, lemon, meta, eoin, blair, daine, analogue dear, mikey, my neighbor from my old apartment, abbi, jedwill, jordana, dylan, slushh, mela, the creators of the peanuts, in love with a ghost, pickle darling, miniskirt, 3125, kitty, and countless others who’ve helped me get here

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Laptop Funeral Brooklyn, New York

songs from the heart

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